While few of us will be expected to host formal dinners attended by presidents and princes, all of us know the feeling of wanting to host an important dinner for a guest of honor or for loved ones. Weddings are another occasion when we often want to “go the extra mile” and make certain that our formal table settings are flawless. We know the little details of table setting etiquette can be confusing, so here is a brief review of “what goes where,” sure to delight both you and your guests.
For a classic formal table setting, one of the most important things to remember is to arrange your table in an evenly-spaced, geometrical way. Maintaining aesthetically pleasing equal distances between all of the various elements is the golden rule. For example, your centerpiece should be placed midway between all place settings if your table in rectangular, or placed at the center if the table is round. Flatware should be perfectly parallel between themselves and perpendicular to the side of the table (or parallel to it if they sit in front of the dish, such as with a dessert spoon or fork).
Each place setting should be arranged to allow enough space for your guests to sit comfortably without touching the neighbors with their elbows, while still being able to carry on conversations easily without raising their voices or straining to hear. At a rectangular table, an easy guideline to remember is to keep guests approximately two feet apart from each other (measuring the distance from the center of the dinner plates). Guests may be placed slightly closer at a round table since the circular arrangement tends to automatically give guests a fair amount of space.
Place cards are always appropriate for a formal table and are especially useful if you have over 12 guests. Cards should be placed in front of the plate and can be of any size, although we find that 1” x 5” cards folded in two look the best. The name and title on the place card should reflect the name used on the invitation. For weddings or very large dinners, keep in mind that it is very practical to have the master plan of the seating arrangements displayed just outside the dining room. It is customary to display an alphabetical list of your guests with the number of the table they are sitting at. The arrangement we find most elegant, however, is to arrange individualized name cards in alphabetical order on a silver tray on a table outside the dining room. Inside or on the reverse of each card is the number of the table where each person is sitting. Guests will match their numbers against the plan of the room with numbered tables. Hint: If your event will have a special theme, you may want to use names or other creative descriptions for the tables, as opposed to numbers. Friends of ours hosted a wonderful engagement party where tables were labeled after city names of romantic places the couple has visited, for example, but the options are nearly endless. This is the place to let your creativity shine though!
